It's true. Don't hate me because I am not a procrastinator. I've just always been one of those 'jump in there and do it' kind of people. Even if I kind of don't like what needs to be done. I'd much rather get it over with, whatever it is, and then move on to thinking about and focusing my energy on other things.
BUT.... there is one time that I will seriously get caught in the procrastination wheel and end up going:
and round... and round...
That time is when I have done the one thing that I can't stand about my personality and I am still working very hard to change. That is when I have agreed to do something that I absolutely do not want to do, would rather scrub the bottom of my shoes than do and will never agree to do again. But somehow I do agree to it- just this one time, because you are such a good friend, or I really need the money this month. Or whatever can get me to accept the idea that I will do this thing that I detest and know darn good and well that I will have to do way too many times to make sure it turns out well and spend so much time on it that I will resent the project and possibly the person who asked me to do it before it is all said and done. Whew!
What it really boils down to is that I procrastinate when I know that the thing I am about to attempt doing will require me to tell someone that "No, I am not willing to make you another one." Or "No, it was not worth my time at all." Or even, "No, this project was not fun and I won't be willing to do it again."
I just don't like to say no. And it's annoying. Cuz' I could save myself a whole lot of trouble if I'd just get more comfortable with that word: NO.
Now pardon me while I practice remembering how to say NO, as I head off to do some stuff that I can't stand and then get up the gumption to say NO next time.
Imagine my surprise when I sighted the sign above as I arrived at a workplace the other day.
I have to admit that sometimes I do wonder about the qualifications of those who run for office, but no- we do not actually have genitals running for office around here. (The guys name is actually Ron Bemis.)
I really hope that those responsible for the 'changes' on this sign can use their creativity to help solve the issues that we face!
Because I still live in the same area that I've always lived for my whole 38 years on the planet, my life is pretty steeped in tradition. From the ways that I always prepare for holidays to the places I like to take a weekend drive, there is a pretty set internal 'map' living inside me.
Sure, there isn't really anything outside myself and my belief system that absolutely dictates what I do, but I inevitably end up doing things in a very similar way year in and year out. It seems to be kind of the way many of us humans work- we like patterns and things that make us feel secure in some way.
Especially for those of us who have managed to break away from unhealthy family rituals it can be quite a shock to see how quickly and easily we mange to box ourselves into yet another regimen, that may or may not be meaningful to us in any real way. For some of us, safety has always been in knowing as much as possible about what's coming next and we have been willing to trade exciting and fulfilling lives for whatever level of safety we could get.
So it struck me hard, the other day, that this past year has already been the beginning of many new experiences and new opportunities to get outside of my comfort zone. Without realizing it, I have been subconsciously moving toward less security and more spontaneity. I have been willing to try new things, even breaking out of traditions that I love.
Photo Credit: Simon Howden/freedigitalphotos.net
Part of that has been because of new opportunities that I couldn't imagine would ever be mine. Part of it is simply a willingness to bend in ways I used to be afraid of... and learning that I can bend a long way without breaking!
For many years I have declared that what I really want is a more spontaneous life. And at the same time I've long joked about how I was going to have my gravestone inscribed with the words: Trust No One. Turns out these two ideals don't work together at all.
You have to trust yourself before you can trust anyone else.
And I have to trust in my ability to handle whatever this spontaneous life might bring my way before I can ever truly embrace it.
It's still a work in progress, but it's way more fun than living inside any box could ever be!
I was warned by a neighbor about how bad the combination of crazy California over-regulation and all the new rules for bank loans would be and I still have been caught completely by surprise.
Yesterday alone, we signed 53 pages of paperwork. And emailed back 23 pages of supporting material to prove that we can afford this new loan for a condo in Palm Springs.
All this with 45% down and a credit score in the high excellent range. Did I mention this is just preliminary stuff and we are still a month out from signing final papers? Definitely not for the faint of heart...
In the meantime, I want to mention that my sweet dog Parker is 15 and 1/2 as of yesterday!!!
Not bad for a breed that has an average lifespan of 10-12 years. Honestly, he has outlived any reasonable expectations and his days now consist of roasting his old bones on the deck (-thank God we've had such a nice Fall so far) and doing lots of funny dementia and lack of hearing and sight related things that still keep us laughing and enjoying his wonderful spirit.
Fresh off my excitement of finally realizing one great big dream of mine, I was feeling so grateful. And naturally, I should. I get that.
I had gotten the call that we had an accepted offer on the Palm Springs, CA condo that my husband and I have wanted so much. I got that call while I was with a friend that I was helping to liquidate his entire estate. Talk about a contrast of feelings- to get such happy news while dealing with such a sad situation! My friend had been going through a home foreclosure, after losing his wife last year.
As luck would have it, my family ran an estate liquidation service when I was growing up, so I knew I could help. I came as soon as his other friends, who had promised to help, bagged out on the project- and got right to work. I brought along some of our dance club friends and we all busted our butts for one very long week.
The sale went really well and we made awesome progress on emptying out the entire house. My friend was to receive $3,000 if he got out and left the house empty by the deadline this past weekend. An inspector would be arriving at the deadline to sign off on paperwork that would assure him of getting the money.
Things were cruising along and my friends and I were all working together so well. Everybody really pitched in and did whatever they could. We were all so exhausted, but kept on moving toward that deadline. We knew we could do it. We were not stopping until the work was done.
At different times during the week this man's siblings would drop by. They never stayed for long and only occasionally took items away that needed to be stored in a place that his sister had set up for him. I was a bit frustrated by this behavior, but simply charged on. There was no time to argue or worry about this.
Then, on the last day before the deadline, as we were all sweeping and vacuuming and clearing out the last of the items a moment came that just made me so angry I could have spit. (And I think spitting is super yucky!)
My friends sister comes back to the house. She is supposed to be taking the big pile of boxes from the garage to the storage area. This is really the last big thing that needs to be done so my friend can be out of the house on time. Instead of doing what she said she would do and what desperately needed to be done, because of the looming deadline, this man's sister decided that she didn't have time to take the boxes before she needed to be back at work.
To add insult to injury, my friends sister did decide that she would be taking the vacuum that was promised to her that we were still using.
I was not only dumbfounded by this behavior. I was just pissed off.
After picking my jaw up off the floor and realizing that this man's sister was clearly trying to sabotage his progress, my friends and I quickly changed gears. We loaded up those boxes ourselves into our own vehicles, rented a storage unit and got the project done.
I can't tell you how happy I was to be able to see the project through just before the inspector arrived!
Now, I just hope that vacuum cleaner blows up and spreads dust and a stink that won't go away all over my friends sisters house!!!