Just an update for anyone who attempted to move on over to a new blog that I had wanted to start: ugh, what a mess! I will be changing this blog up soon and THIS will remain the ONLY place that I post at. I tried the whole google plus thing and ended up having to delete the account, (which was way too much like facebook anyway and that stuff just scares me) because it was trying to take over my computer and crashing it like crazy!
Anyway, I will post as I can here soon and let you know how our SoCal move is going. I am up to my neck in that for now so I will be here few and far between for now!
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
I'm Only Doing Positive. For Now. ...So Enjoy This Christmas Tale
Can I just say that I have never in my life ever had such a strong desire to just hole up and take care of my own...
So for now I'm working my butt off (quite literally) day in and day out and tonight I'm busy wrapping my nephews gifts in the color of money. Cuz' I'm teaching him what I know to be true- that success really is the best revenge.
And I know the current POTUS thinks I'm one of those evil small business bastards that should be taxed the hell out of, so to that I say: anybody who wants to kill my initiative and ingenuity can kiss my...
Oh yeah. Sorry. I was being all positive and everything....
Here's a kick butt Christmas tree story instead.
All true.
Happened today.
So I show up to one of my regular clients homes and there's a new request added to the list of party preparation. Seems there's a tree in the garage that needs to be put in a stand and brought into the house.
OK, I'm game. The tree looks like any other regular type fresh cut Christmas tree, all baled up and sitting in a big bucket of water.
I walk over and try to lift the tree out to see how it'll fit into the tree stand.
I swear to you, that tree had to have sucked up enough water to choke a horse. It was HEAVY. I mean, 'holy crap I think I might have herniated something' heavy. And it didn't look anywhere near big enough to be even slightly that heavy.
So I got some help to get the tree out of the bucket and into the stand. Nobody else could understand how a tree of such 'regular' size could be that heavy either...
Then we all noticed how the size of the trunk was no way gonna' fit into any regular size stand. The base of that thing had to have been 8 inches across and the stand would only hold something maybe 5 inches across.
So we did what anybody in the mode of getting that stupid tree to fit into the stand would do. We got out an electric saw and started hacking away at the base until we were finally able to stuff it into the stand.
Great. We had a tree in a stand. Let's bring it into the house.
Except that when we got the tree into the house somebody noticed that all the bottom branches had been cut off and were just being held on by the baling that was tied all around the tree. So, of course, when the baling was removed the tree was branch-less at the bottom for at least 2 feet. I guess somebody might have mentioned that the idea was that the tree would be cut off at the bottom and the lowest branches were to be used as greenery for decorations.
Oops. Nobody had informed me. That would also help to explain why when we hoisted the tree upright inside the house, the top was scraping the ceiling...
So now we needed to take the tree out of the stand, re-cut it and get it back into the stand. Did I mention that somebody thought we better hurry up and put water into the stand so that heavy ass water logged tree wouldn't lose all its needles or anything? Yeah, brilliant. Because moving that tree that was already losing pounds of needles wasn't nearly enough fun on its own. Having a huge puddle of water on the hard wood floor was so much better...
Back outside we went with the tree. Using a neighbors borrowed saw, we cut that sucker back to a point where the tree trunk would fit nicely into the stand. Great. Only now the baling had been removed from the tree and it was nearly too fat to fit back inside the door.
We did get that super heavy, now shorter tree back into the house. It only took 3 people tugging and shoving and one person getting slightly injured to get it done.
The tree was lovely. So green and nicely shaped.
No one would ever guess how difficult it had been to tame that beast into the beauty that it now is.
But wait. There's more! That tree had more surprises in store for us.
It had a giant lady bug nest in it that we discovered while trying to get packages sent out to the UPS guy. Yes, just picture it. Ladybugs everywhere and one very confused UPS dude.
And it was only after the tree had been sprayed for the ladybugs that the wasp flew out of it, very suddenly, dive bombing across the room so as to scare the livin' hell right out of all of us that were left still doing party prep.
At this point I looked at the homeowner and stated clearly that if a squirrel suddenly flew out of the tree, then that would be it. I was out.
He said he understood.
That's it. That's my story. All true, as I said. Now I wish all of you and yours the very best this Christmas and I hope that your tree is drama free this year!!!
***all images in this blog post courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net***
So for now I'm working my butt off (quite literally) day in and day out and tonight I'm busy wrapping my nephews gifts in the color of money. Cuz' I'm teaching him what I know to be true- that success really is the best revenge.
And I know the current POTUS thinks I'm one of those evil small business bastards that should be taxed the hell out of, so to that I say: anybody who wants to kill my initiative and ingenuity can kiss my...
Oh yeah. Sorry. I was being all positive and everything....
Here's a kick butt Christmas tree story instead.
All true.
Happened today.
So I show up to one of my regular clients homes and there's a new request added to the list of party preparation. Seems there's a tree in the garage that needs to be put in a stand and brought into the house.
OK, I'm game. The tree looks like any other regular type fresh cut Christmas tree, all baled up and sitting in a big bucket of water.
I walk over and try to lift the tree out to see how it'll fit into the tree stand.
I swear to you, that tree had to have sucked up enough water to choke a horse. It was HEAVY. I mean, 'holy crap I think I might have herniated something' heavy. And it didn't look anywhere near big enough to be even slightly that heavy.
So I got some help to get the tree out of the bucket and into the stand. Nobody else could understand how a tree of such 'regular' size could be that heavy either...
Then we all noticed how the size of the trunk was no way gonna' fit into any regular size stand. The base of that thing had to have been 8 inches across and the stand would only hold something maybe 5 inches across.
So we did what anybody in the mode of getting that stupid tree to fit into the stand would do. We got out an electric saw and started hacking away at the base until we were finally able to stuff it into the stand.
Great. We had a tree in a stand. Let's bring it into the house.
Except that when we got the tree into the house somebody noticed that all the bottom branches had been cut off and were just being held on by the baling that was tied all around the tree. So, of course, when the baling was removed the tree was branch-less at the bottom for at least 2 feet. I guess somebody might have mentioned that the idea was that the tree would be cut off at the bottom and the lowest branches were to be used as greenery for decorations.
Oops. Nobody had informed me. That would also help to explain why when we hoisted the tree upright inside the house, the top was scraping the ceiling...
So now we needed to take the tree out of the stand, re-cut it and get it back into the stand. Did I mention that somebody thought we better hurry up and put water into the stand so that heavy ass water logged tree wouldn't lose all its needles or anything? Yeah, brilliant. Because moving that tree that was already losing pounds of needles wasn't nearly enough fun on its own. Having a huge puddle of water on the hard wood floor was so much better...
Back outside we went with the tree. Using a neighbors borrowed saw, we cut that sucker back to a point where the tree trunk would fit nicely into the stand. Great. Only now the baling had been removed from the tree and it was nearly too fat to fit back inside the door.
We did get that super heavy, now shorter tree back into the house. It only took 3 people tugging and shoving and one person getting slightly injured to get it done.
The tree was lovely. So green and nicely shaped.
No one would ever guess how difficult it had been to tame that beast into the beauty that it now is.
But wait. There's more! That tree had more surprises in store for us.
It had a giant lady bug nest in it that we discovered while trying to get packages sent out to the UPS guy. Yes, just picture it. Ladybugs everywhere and one very confused UPS dude.
And it was only after the tree had been sprayed for the ladybugs that the wasp flew out of it, very suddenly, dive bombing across the room so as to scare the livin' hell right out of all of us that were left still doing party prep.
At this point I looked at the homeowner and stated clearly that if a squirrel suddenly flew out of the tree, then that would be it. I was out.
He said he understood.
That's it. That's my story. All true, as I said. Now I wish all of you and yours the very best this Christmas and I hope that your tree is drama free this year!!!
***all images in this blog post courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net***
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
What If I'm Nuts?!
If you knew me IRL (in real life- whatever that is), you certainly would have heard by now about how much I used to worry about the fact that I might turn out to be a real nut job. Let's just say that in my family the odds truly are not stacked in my favor on this one. Realistically,with my family history, I have about a 75% chance of being clinically whacked in one way or another- supposedly diminishing after the age of 30 or so. So I might be safe by now, but I also might not be. Whatever... I'm currently 38 and I figure that maybe it would be worse if I never, ever get to experience any crazy (as a mature adult who can make her own choices) at all.
So, yesterday my husband comes home and he tells me that his place of work will be going through a major shake up in the next few months. He also lets me know that his department is very likely to be one that might be moved to the corporate headquarters in Boston.
And then he looks at me in that knowing way that says that he is well aware that there is 'no way on God's green earth' that I will ever be caught alive living in Boston (there is background here- no offense to Bostonians) and says: so I guess that we would have every reason to move to Texas then, huh?
And I answer with: Yup. I'll call the real estate agent so we can get to work on possibly selling the house.
What if nuts is what I need after all? Maybe careful planning is not going to be the answer to getting to Texas. Maybe a shake up is what it's going to take to get me out of my safety zone and away from the idea that I can 'fix' it so my life will never be too crazy- so I can ward off all the crazy that was when I was growing up. Maybe too much safety isn't what it's cracked up to be.
I'll let ya know!
So, yesterday my husband comes home and he tells me that his place of work will be going through a major shake up in the next few months. He also lets me know that his department is very likely to be one that might be moved to the corporate headquarters in Boston.
And then he looks at me in that knowing way that says that he is well aware that there is 'no way on God's green earth' that I will ever be caught alive living in Boston (there is background here- no offense to Bostonians) and says: so I guess that we would have every reason to move to Texas then, huh?
And I answer with: Yup. I'll call the real estate agent so we can get to work on possibly selling the house.
What if nuts is what I need after all? Maybe careful planning is not going to be the answer to getting to Texas. Maybe a shake up is what it's going to take to get me out of my safety zone and away from the idea that I can 'fix' it so my life will never be too crazy- so I can ward off all the crazy that was when I was growing up. Maybe too much safety isn't what it's cracked up to be.
I'll let ya know!
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| Credit: pics22.com |
Friday, October 1, 2010
You're Moving Where?!
Having lived all my life in one of those places that many people seem to believe is ideal, you get used to certain attitudes and assumptions- that the seasons here are the 'real' seasons, that there is only one temperature range that human beings can actually survive in, that here is normal and all else is well... crazy.
People seem very comfortable with the idea that where they live is superior to all other options.
Then one day, if you dare to challenge that and do something like oh... say that another place might be an interesting and/or good experience, boy do you get an earful.
Now that I've really settled into 'it's not an if but a when' we will be moving away, I'm getting a real taste of what it might be like once I become an 'outsider'.
Apparently, I will lose IQ points upon crossing the border of our state and even thinking about staying away for any extended period of time. I will also encounter mad, rabid, gigantic animals of all sorts. I might even pick up some sort of strange accent that could be very hard to shake, like some kind of chronic disease or something.
With the horrors of huge bugs and hurricanes looming, one might be tempted to just stay put and never leave the cocoon that is 'the ideal place'. I've even been asked if I'm worried that my dogs might get heart worm.
Seriously, no place is truly perfect. But some might suit certain people better than others. And there's really no way to find that out without just biting the bullet and going for it.
So I understand that there is much to where someone comes from. But I never want to be one of those people who refuse to experience something different and admit that it's good.
I've been attached to one place for a very long time and I've only just begun to embrace the idea that I might actually want a change.
So I'll take my chances that I might regret the day that I ever left, knowing that something wonderful is just as likely to be waiting for me.
What's the worst place you've ever lived? What about the best?
People seem very comfortable with the idea that where they live is superior to all other options.
Then one day, if you dare to challenge that and do something like oh... say that another place might be an interesting and/or good experience, boy do you get an earful.
Now that I've really settled into 'it's not an if but a when' we will be moving away, I'm getting a real taste of what it might be like once I become an 'outsider'.
Apparently, I will lose IQ points upon crossing the border of our state and even thinking about staying away for any extended period of time. I will also encounter mad, rabid, gigantic animals of all sorts. I might even pick up some sort of strange accent that could be very hard to shake, like some kind of chronic disease or something.
With the horrors of huge bugs and hurricanes looming, one might be tempted to just stay put and never leave the cocoon that is 'the ideal place'. I've even been asked if I'm worried that my dogs might get heart worm.
Seriously, no place is truly perfect. But some might suit certain people better than others. And there's really no way to find that out without just biting the bullet and going for it.
So I understand that there is much to where someone comes from. But I never want to be one of those people who refuse to experience something different and admit that it's good.
I've been attached to one place for a very long time and I've only just begun to embrace the idea that I might actually want a change.
So I'll take my chances that I might regret the day that I ever left, knowing that something wonderful is just as likely to be waiting for me.
What's the worst place you've ever lived? What about the best?
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