Mixed Bag

I used to belong to the club of people who think that if you talk about something good, then you jinx it.
Now I feel as if you gotta' put it out there in order to make it real.

Then there are the things that you don't want to talk about because you don't want reality to set in too soon, even though you know it's coming.  These are usually life things that inevitably make you sad, even if known and expected.  (Once in a while it's nice to be in denial.)

With those two juxtaposed ideas in mind, humor me a little as I share a bit about how things went around here today.

This morning I took my dog, Parker, into the vet for a recheck on his heart.    He needed a refill of the meds. that he finally started about 6 weeks ago and the doctor wanted to listen to his heart murmur to see how well the meds. were working.  This turned out to be the perfect day for the recheck as today also turned out to be one of those rare rough days for Parker.  It was a day where he kept wanting to faint and was breathing pretty hard.  I was actually glad that his symptoms would be on full display during the visit for once.  (Kind of like when you can't get your car to make 'that noise' when you take it to the shop.)  I figured it would be helpful. 

Unfortunately, it was.

Psychcentral.com

My vet is super sweet and always takes the positive road.  He assured me that this could just be another rare bad day.  But then he also said that the meds. are doing what they're supposed to do in taking a load off the heart and that they are meant to make remaining life more comfortable for Parker, not to cure anything.  He reminded me that Parker is remarkable in the age that he has achieved for his breed and then gently suggested that we only refill 30 days worth of meds.

I got what he was trying to say.

And now, to flip things completely upside down...

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Later today my husband came home with another cash bonus.  Smaller than the last one, but still...  And then he told me that he has also been given a raise.  Along with his strong feeling that he's going to pass his next test in May, my heart is practically bursting with pride over what he has been able to accomplish recently.  (And all while preparing for major rehabilitative surgery.)  Property in Palm Springs is becoming more real by the day...  I tell ya' give that man a goal that he really wants to get to and he can do absolutely anything.

So you can see why I might be feeling a little merry-go-roundish today...

Absolutely not sorry for myself by any means.  I know everyone goes through this type of stuff.  Just interesting how life can throw you onto such different parts of the emotional spectrum all in the same day.  Right now, it just feels good to kind of sit with my feelings and experience them without putting too much expectation into how I 'should' feel. 

How about you?  What kind of day did you have?

Still Kickin'

Warning: this is yet another doggy post.  Sorry to those who are annoyed.  I know we dog lovers can be a bit crazy... 

This morning I had just about the strangest sort of dress rehearsal that I can imagine. 
Y'all know that my dog, Parker, is very old and has had some health issues.  So there is no mystery to the idea that I could lose him in the near future.  I feel as though I have faced this fact with some level of maturity.

When I let my dogs outside this morning I got to face up to this reality a whole lot more.
Parker stumbled out the back door onto the wet deck as he often does.  But this time he coughed hard a couple of times and then kind of fainted.  As he laid there I found myself accepting that this could be the end and I also found that I just wanted to comfort and speak softly to him.  I actually thought about the fact that I didn't want his last moments to be chaotic in any way.  I was shocked and sad, but level headed.

Then just as suddenly as this all began, Parker got up and shook himself off.  And I swear he gave me a look of, "what the heck are you so sad about?"  He then ran back into the house, grabbed a squeaky toy and dropped it next to his dish so he could loudly proclaim how hungry he was.  I stood there in amazement. 

After the initial shock wore off, I remembered that back when he was about 8 years old,  (he is now 14) the vet had told me that Parker has a pretty loud heart murmur and that he could require medication one day if he ever displayed symptoms.  You guessed it.  What I had just experienced was just what I had been warned could happen- some coughing or wheezing and loss of consciousness due to lack of oxygen.  When I called the vet they were shocked to see how long it has been between the diagnosis and the onset of symptoms.  Back when this all started, we had chosen to go with natural supplements for heart health and had since forgotten all about what those daily 'vitamins' for Parker were all about.  Just goes to show, you never do know. 

Believe it or not, I'm actually grateful for the experience.  Like many other aspects of my growing up, loss of pets was never handled with any kind of grace or reasonableness.  At least I know now that I'm pretty sure I won't lose it completely when the real moment arrives.  Don't get me wrong.  I am absolutely in no hurry.  And apparently, neither is Parker!

"Yeah, I'm obnoxious.  So what?!  At my age, anything goes!"

Hot Dogs

We're here in Palm Springs and I just had to check in with bloggerville. (Besides, it's tough to catch up if I really stay away for a whole 2 and half weeks!) 

AND, I couldn't resist posting some funny pictures of my dogs and how they reacted to the major temperature difference here.  It is about 35 degrees warmer than at home.

So, here is my Hailey and her maxin' and relaxin' attitude:

Ah, if only we humans could actually relax to such a level.  She didn't even have enough energy to finish her chew stick and that dog loves any kind of food or treat.

Now remember that my Parker is a bit scatter brained these days.  Keeping that in mind, all he could do at first was wander around in an effort to find a cool spot and in 106 degrees there really isn't much of a cool spot to find.  So he wandered for a long time.  What he did find though was that this place has several large mirrors.  And in those mirrors there was this other dog that looked just like him.  Hmmm, imagine that.  At first he barked at the dog in the mirror and tried to growl and sneak up on him.  Then, when he did finally figure out there was actually no other dog, he decided that the mirrors were holding an extension to the room that he just could not figure out how to get into.

I may or may not have laughed so hard that I choked.  Yup, Parker is still providing free entertainment after all these years....

Extending The Summer

My husband and I have taken the reigns on this whole 'summer skipped us here' in the Northwest thing and we have decided to go back to Palm Springs.  After his trip out to San Antonio and how very close he got to finding a job out there, we are not ready to settle into the grey mist that is already parked over our house as I write this.  So we are leaving at the end of the week and we won't be back until early October. 
I will be taking the tomatoes that did not ripen and laying them on the dashboard in my car window on the way down to Southern California, giving them one last chance to become what they were meant to be.  (They are oh, so close.)  Yesterday we picked up a couple of cruiser bikes that we will be taking with us, including one that is a wee bit smaller that fits my 5'4" frame just right.  I am so excited.  We decided these are our Christmas presents for this year.  I'm headed to the Goodwill to see if I can find a basket to put on the front. Even my dog is not ready to give up on summer yet.  He will be taking his favorite baseball along as our dogs will be joining us on this trip and enjoying a nice fenced back yard at the condo we rented.
We are not ready for summer to end.  We are not ready for going back to more stringent routine.  We are not ready to let go of the spontaneity that summer is.  So we are going away to where summer is not over yet and really won't be for months to come.

Normally, we go on vacation to 'go, see, do'.  This will be the first time in a very long time that we will be going away to unwind and just experience a place as if we lived there.  I may check out a few things, but there will be no set schedule.  I will take the time to soak up some more of the sun that helps to keep me feeling alive.
Then, when I come back, I should feel a little less like the Fall season has some sort of personal vendetta against me.  Hopefully I will be able to embrace it, after having pushed it off for just a little while longer... 

Doggy Dementia

Who ever knew that there was a form of Alzheimer's that affects dogs?
Apparently CDS or canine Cognitive Dysfunction Syndrome is something that is affecting my dog.  He was diagnosed the day after his 14th birthday.  He had started to act a little funny here and there.  One thing he does that is a bit weird is go over and stand in a corner, staring at the wall.  He also has gotten louder over time, kind of as if he has lost his inhibitions.  I thought these things were just a part of aging since I know he can't see or hear very well anymore.  But, I finally took him in to see the vet when he stopped making it to the door when he needed to go outside.  He would wake up groggy and stagger about, then pee all over himself like some kind of drunk!  (If you're curious about CDS or want to know the symptoms, click here.)  The news that my dog is compromised by more than aging is a little sad, but not really a huge shock as he has well outlived his expected time on this earth of 10-12 years. 

The good news is that he is super healthy physically and has been on medication for a few weeks now and is responding quite well.  So for now, he is still the life of the party.  My Boston Terrier has always loved a good party. 

And who ever knew that dogs could really get together to have a party like they do in my favorite Dr. Seuss book, 'Go Dog Go!'  Check out these pictures from a dog birthday party at my friends house back in February. 

These are the 'cupcakes' that I made for the dogs.  Their ingredients include oatmeal, carrots, olive oil and canned dog food with gravy and crumbled kibble on top.  And, of course, some dog treat 'candles' on top for the dog that was turning 3 at this party.

Yes, these stink while you are cooking them and the dogs go nuts sniffing all over the kitchen!

My dog is always the last to fall asleep at these dog parties.  I think he's a lot like me in the way that he never wants to miss anything.  Once the other dogs have all passed out, he finally gives in to his exhaustion.

 

And yes, he wears a great hat, just like the dogs in the Dr. Seuss book!  I love my little party animal.

There's Still A Plan

I started this blog a little over 6 months ago when I was just sure that my husband and I were on our way to becoming new residents of Texas.  Then a few months ago, we decided that if Texas wasn't having us in any big hurry, well, we would just open up our hearts and minds to the idea that anywhere with warmth and sun would be just fine with us.  This kind of willingness to bend would surely get us to tan lines and high air conditioning bills fast, right?

Here we still are, in the rainy Northwest.  We are in the midst of enduring the coldest, wettest Spring ever on record...  officially.  I finally got the chance to mow the yard when the rain managed to stop for about 36 hours.  There are puddles in places that I never knew would puddle.  My flower pots are actually flooded.  My dogs look out the door when I open it and then look at me as if to say, "Are you kidding?  Would you want to have to go out there to do your business?"  When there is a moment of reprieve and it looks like there might be some sun, the dogs run out to lay on the deck only to return within a few minutes to lay on the floor and look depressed when the sky clouds up again.  We were totally teased by a beautiful sunny 65 degree day last Saturday and then I woke up to rain on the skylights for Easter.  So, yes, I am annoyed.

But then I have to feel like a real horses ass when I complain like this as I have been watching people who are truly suffering with all the tornado and storm damage all over the South.  I have a home.  With flower pots and a deck, no less.  I'm not out searching for my dogs or even lost family members.  So yeah, it is all so relative...

I know there is a plan at work.  I'm just not totally clear what that plan is anymore.  For our part, my husband and I are working the recruiter and ourselves hard, searching high and low for a good job that will allow us to pursue this dream of being where the sun shines most of the time and the cost of living is decent.  My husband is still working hard to fulfill his requirements to become a member of the Property/Casualty Society Of Actuaries.  He knows that within a year he will be at the Associate level.  This should make looking for a job a bit more fruitful. 

In the mean time, we are living and preparing as if we could up and move at any moment.  I am still getting rid of more stuff and making decisions about stuff that I will get rid of the moment I know we really will be leaving.  We are saving up cash.  The house looks great for all the prep work I did last Fall.  And, we are still trying to make the most of what is going on in our lives today, while we are still here.  We will be running another 5k on Sunday and enjoying a get together with friends this weekend.   I am also planning a small event for our neighborhood next week with my neighbor.  Most of all we are both learning that appreciating what you have, even when it's not exactly what you want is sometimes the most important plan of all.

Dog Day

Today, as I anticipate a pretty heavy phone call and contemplate the possible results of my husbands latest phone interview, I'm going to do what ER doctors often tell people to do to keep calm.  I'm going to think about my dogs. 
Dogs are just about the coolest things there are.  They love unconditionally.  They can do cool tricks.  They get me laughing uncontrollably.  They have attitude and style all their own.  A dog can sense how you are feeling and help you get through even the roughest day.  A great dog is a godsend.
I have 2 dogs.  The first one is a Boston Terrier.  He is nearly 14 years old, which is very senior for a Boston Terrier.  He is my first dog that I ever had after moving out of my parents home.  He is the 4th Boston Terrier I've shared my life with.  It is said that Boston Terriers are high strung and this guy is no exception.  His personality is such a presence in my everyday life.  He is ball obsessed and still loves a good romp even though he doesn't see or hear too well anymore.  In his older age, he seems to have lost any inhibition and likes to tell us everything that is on his mind with a loud and long Owwwroooo...!

My second dog is a dog that we rescued.  She is a chi weenie- half chihuahua, half dachshund.  My husband really wanted a chihuahua and I wasn't so sure about that, as I had one that was tiny and shook all the time when I was I kid.  I eventually agreed to a mix, so it would be a little bit bigger dog.  When I first brought this dog home I still wasn't so sure that a chihuahua of any type was the right choice.  She was fragile and seemed so sad.  She had been 1 of 38 dogs in a puppy mill.  She was bred at least 3 times and she was only 2 and 1/2 years old.  But then, over about 6 months, she bloomed into just about the best dog ever!  She is now a spring with fur and absolutely the most loving little thing anybody could ever want.  She is smart as a whip and has the coolest way of communicating.  If you ask her if she wants to go outside or wants food, etc.  She will answer like this-  A slow motion spin means: 'I guess so' and a fast series of spins means: 'You've got it.  That's exactly what I want!' and finally, if the answer is 'no', she will just just slowly walk away. 

These 2 add so much to my life.  I can't really imagine life without a dog!  Do you have a dog?  Or a cat?  What does your pet mean to you?  Tell me about it!