The Answers And Peace That I Need

As I stared at a blank screen for the longest time, I went back to view my blog and found a new comment on my last post.  The comment was from Loretta and it got me out of my funk and into finally writing this post that really I guess I have just been avoiding and yet I so need to write.

So I'll start with this:  Christmas was probably the best one we have had around here in at least a few years.  There was no family drama requiring a visit from the sheriff- Ha!  We were blessed to get our gifts early in the form of our fun new puppy and our Palm Springs condo.  I even took a chance and told Santa about how much I want to move to Texas.  He made no promises, but hey it never hurts to try!  We also received some of the best surprise news that we could ever have gotten when we found out that my husband passed his latest actuarial exam- which we were totally NOT expecting.  Yes, one of those exams that require study of at least 300 hours of stuff like this:

With the passage of this particular exam, it puts my husband in a very good position to be a real live actuary by November of this year!!!!!!  We never thought he would pass so quickly as this exam is one many people get stuck on and take over and over.  And really, he just didn't have a good feeling about it.  What a fabulous and welcome surprise.  This also means that as soon as he gets his credential, I will get to start those pilot lessons I've said that I am meaning to take!

So many wonderful things....  My heart is just full of thankfulness.  I can't believe how blessed we are during such a time of turmoil all around us- in the world, in our country and right here at home.

You see, I don't want to seem ungrateful.  I strive to be content and yet grow in life.  I know we ought not dwell on the things that are not as we would like and that many things are out of our control as human beings. 

And yet some things are too big to ignore. 

My sister is still in jail.  I have discovered that she is in need of more help and rehabilitation than I ever imagined.  She is addicted to every form of bad behavior and wrong choice that there is.  She is a very sad and sick person that has destroyed so much for so many.

She has been offered a combination of incarceration/rehab/work release of 3 years and is otherwise facing 5-10 years in prison.  She still believes she can somehow 'beat the system' and has refused the 3 year deal.

I am trying hard to swallow the fact that I actually agree with her in that she should not take the 3 year deal.  I don't think she should take it because I feel that she needs a lot LONGER in custody to keep society at large safe and to give herself any chance at all of actually changing her life for the better.

I can't help feeling like a big ol' bitch of an older sister who has so much in this life and yet would wish her little sister such a tough row to hoe.  I don't mean it that way and I know in my heart that people understand that. 

I need to look at this as an opportunity to expand my vision of what positive change can be. 

And I will. 

In time, I will accept whatever is meant to be for my sister and I will put it all into proper perspective as soon as my heart allows. 

Image found at: posterenvy.com