Update: Looking Forward To A Summer Of Change

credit: picturedepot.com

Wow, I have been at this here blogging thing for about a year and half now.   I can hardly believe it!

Not only am I shocked that I am still in the same location geographically that I started in- since this whole blog got started as a way to document the process and express myself during my much hoped for move to Texas, but certainly maybe more surprising and rewarding is how much I have learned from the other wonderful blogs that I read on a regular basis.

There are simple and major things that have just clicked for me over this past year and a half and I can't really believe that my everyday life would have been as enriched, brought down to earth, or given as much perspective if I hadn't been sharing it, even in a vicarious way, with so many of you.  I appreciate your posts and the comments that you kindly take the time to give, in a huge way.

Now, as to the update: 

This coming summer is shaping up to be a doozy.  On May 16th my husband will have his much anticipated reconstructive surgery.  It will come exactly one week after his next big actuarial exam.  We planned it that way so he could recover without having to study intensely for another test right away.  He will have a major test every 6 months for at least the next 2-3 years.  Although I am pretty OK with all the medical things and physical therapy stuff that my husband will need to deal with, I have to admit that I may run into some emotional roadblocks.  I know that I am much better equipped to deal with the challenge this time around and I trust that things will go smoothly.  My husband deserves the best outcome and I will do whatever it takes to help get him through this.

This past week my husband and I have truly set things in motion to make our dream of owning a condo in Palm Springs happen.  After lots of research on what it will take to be successful with owning and managing a vacation home, we are starting the pre-approval process.  Even though I am aware that things are different these days when it comes to mortgages, we do have a down payment ready and should only require a small loan so we are trusting that the bank will see us as a good risk.  It feels like a huge step and yet it feels right.  By the week of July 4th my husband should be feeling pretty darn good and we plan to be in Palm Springs, physically looking at properties.  With some major prayer and a little luck we are hoping to be owners of a vacation rental that is available to rent by October 1st. 

To top it all off, my husband and I have absolutely not given up on our dream of moving to Texas.  As soon as he is recovered enough to make it feasible for him to travel for an in person interview, my husband will hit the application process hard again.  With another test passed, he should be a more interesting candidate within his chosen career.  If all of our wildest dreams could be realized, my husband and I just might be putting the finishing touches on a vacation condo in Palm Springs on our way to a new home in Texas.

I certainly do believe that everything we do in this life has meaning and that all things happen when and how they should.  I also feel as if these things that we are wishing for are possible and worth planning for.  I can dare to envision a future that holds so much for my husband and I to work hard for and share with everyone we love. 

Credit: sea-life-style.com

Not Backing Down

My apologies to those who are tired of all the medical talk.  I would usually be right there in that camp with ya, believe me.  However, this is a big part of my life at the moment so I gotta' get it out there.  I will be oh so happy to be on the other side of this once we get past May 16.  That's the day that my husband's surgery will happen and then we get to work towards recovery. 

As for now, today was the day for the last pre-op visit regarding my husbands big reconstructive surgery.  This time we saw the muscle specialist.  She was NOT as happy-go-lucky, touchy-feely as our hernia doctor.  She does come with wonderful credentials and everyone says her work is impeccable.  The doctors can't all be somebody we'd like to hang out with, right?  I guess it's good to have a dose of reality to go along with my hopeful attitude.  Balance is a good thing.

So here's the low down:  Because of the original massive infection there isn't a whole lot of abdominal muscle tissue left to work with.  That means that my husband will need to have a lot reconstruction work done using some of his oblique muscles in place of most of his abs.  Realistically, we can expect to see a return of about 80% of his original core strength level.

Now usually I like to say that I am neither optimist or pessimist, but a realist.  In this instance though I am totally going with the optimism.  There is no other way to go here.  We may be faced with the idea that nothing will ever be the same and that we shouldn't expect too much, but I'm just not accepting that.  Everything we have been through so far has shown me that I should expect more than anyone would imagine. 

I am still feeling...

Photo credit: linked2leadership.com

Two and half years ago when this all started, my husband and I were living a pretty charmed life in so many ways.  We had many things to be thankful for and life was pretty predictably good.  It felt as if we had exceeded all expectations for how others thought our lives would probably turn out, considering where we both come from.  And yet, I don't think we really got it that there was so much more waiting for us.

And who could have guessed it would all happen because of my husband coming through a near death experience? 

I know people say that certain major life experiences change them for the better.  They say it all the time.  It starts to feel cliche'.  But it isn't a cliche'.  Not when you're living it.  And I am no different.  I believe that this is changing us for the better.  Even as we go through it I can see how this whole thing has made me capable of dreams I never could have dreamed before, in a pretty direct way.  I have literally gone from being thankful that my life is finally just pretty much 'normal' to believing that's it's actually OK to voice my craziest desires aloud.

One of my all time favorite inspirational pieces of art:  

Check out those road signs!

Art credit: maryengelbreit.com

There is something about already having been through hell that makes me know for certain that my husband and I are going to make it back as well.  And when we do get back, we'll be stronger than ever, ready to tackle anything else that comes our way.