I have a good friend with a husband who is diagnosed with Asperger's and he and my husband get along famously. It's like a bog ol' nerdfest when the two of them get together. And nobody else seems to get this guy better than my husband. (Asperger's is a form of autism that affects social skills more than anything and a person with Asperger's is likely to be highly intelligent yet very bothered by overstimulation. Mozart, Einstein and Thomas Jefferson all shared symptoms of Asperger's .)
What could possibly make me think something like this?
I'm won't pretend to be an expert on the subject. These are just my observations:
My husband sometimes misses social cues- big time. He has to cut the tags out of every piece of clothing he owns and food textures can be quite troublesome. He's such a freakin' number genius and yet sometimes he panics if you ask him to add up a simple list of things and then he has to double and triple check his answer and explain how he got to it.
I'm not complaining. Again, just my observations. It's actually a part of his charm. And he balances me out quite well. Besides, I may or may not be known to let his quirks get me out of a bind here or there on occasion, but I'm not admitting to anything...
So yeah, he's just not a real emotional guy. (But like I said, that keeps my 'fieryness' in check.) While I appreciate how rational my man is, I must admit that I do sometimes miss out on romantic notions. Small things like not thinking about the resale value of a gift, or how much it will cost to insure it. Or sometimes he just doesn't seem to get the emotional intricacies of a given moment. He can be perceived as pretty cut and dried with an affect that comes off as rather flat.
And yet, at times he is so clever and funny and brings out a childlike joy in just experiencing something. And he will do literally anything for me, even if it goes against his highly logical side. These are the times when sharing his life is magical. So... what a wonderful surprise it has been to see how excited my husband has become about the idea of having a vacation place in the desert. Imagine how wonderful it has been to hear him almost gush at how good he feels in that heat, how 108 with no humidity feels just right, how being able to get away to a place that is just so different is amazing to him, how he just never dreamed that he could want something so much. It's just so cool to see him willing to take a chance on something without over thinking it. Just because he wants to. He doesn't often verbalize about goals much outside of rational lists and good investments. So this is just fun. And I'm happy for him.
It's good to be able to share a dream and actually have a concrete plan to make it work. My husband keeps me grounded so my dreams can take flight.
I think some of that is just Man Stuff, you know? I'm learning that Mr. BFG has his own way of showing me just how much he loves and adores me. It may not always be in the ways I want or expect, but I sure do relish them anyway.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a regular guy to me. Where is the beach in your picture? If that's part of the desert, I want in!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding me that my guy is not all that different from so many other 'normal' men. Not that I mind either way. :)
ReplyDelete@ JJ: The beach picture is dreamy to me. That's why I included it. It was taken in Freeport, Bahamas. But there is that oasis I wrote about, and it's pretty dreamy too.
I've never heard of Asperger before. It sounds interesting, I'm going to read up on it. You put is quite clearly, "he balances me out quite well" -and that's all that matters. By the way, I love those pictures!
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet post about ypur hubby and that makes sense to me - what ypu are saying about him. I bet it was wonderful to have him share his dreams and goals with you!
ReplyDeleteHave a pretty day!
kristin
I loved reading your description of your hubby. It just exudes love and acceptance... all of him.
ReplyDeleteAnd I was kind of like... um... hey... MY hubby is like that... and that... and that, too. Hmmm... I know mine has a very mild neurological disorder causing minor motor tics/spasms, and such. But I'd never connected his other tendencies to anything in particular. Maybe I'll be more patient now??
Oh well, we love them in spite of their "differences". They have so very many endearing qualities. And it's sweet the way your hubby is all excited about the new goal. :-)