Tuesday, January 17, 2012

We're Still Not Moving & Now I Know Why

First of all, I want to thank everyone for all the positive comments about my husband's upcoming journey to health.  It's gonna' go well.  I just know it.  And one of these days I'm gonna' want abs just like the ones he's getting, only I'll have to pay for them...

We're expecting a pretty big snow storm over the next few days and I know I've mentioned before about how much I just love snow.  Not.  It already looks like this:
Beautiful, yes.  I'll leave it at that.  Let's keep it positive, right?

I'm thankful that we were able to get him in to have his CT today despite the snow covered giant Seattle hills.  This CT will help give more detailed info. so the doctor can decide on an actual surgical plan when we see her again on the 25th.  I have decided that I'm just going to take in what she tells us, allow it all to sink in, and then set it free to the universe.  That should put me in a good place to be ready to support my husband in the way that he will need in May when he actually gets the work done. 

In the mean time I have realized a few things (yeah, you can feel free to figuratively whack me over the head!)- As annoyed as I have been with waiting for our plans to move to Texas to come through, I can see some good reasons as to why they have not:   
1) It's a really good thing that we are in the position of my husband having been at his current job for a long time with good medical and paid time off for him to be able to recover fully.
2) It is so fortunate that I have awesome contacts and medical referrals through work I have done over the years.  It makes me feel much more confident about this whole thing. 
3) If we had moved to Texas last August when we truly believed we were going to, we might never have discovered our love of Palm Springs.  And that really has been such a wonderful surprise.

So yup, it is time for me to buck up and be thankful for how this is all working out.  As with anything, there is much to be gained by the attitude that we choose to have.

I believe this will be transformative for both my husband and I.  He is going to be healed physically, stronger than ever.  And he has already shown that he is well on his way to conquering any residual fears from his prior experience.  He's meeting this challenge like anything else that comes his way- with a smile on his face and a peaceful demeanor.  I continue to admire his fortitude of character. 

Meanwhile I am going to take this opportunity to face up to the fact that medical situations were more than just a little bit weird as I grew up and not allow myself to be further traumatized.  This time will be a positive.  My husband is the best reason ever to change my thoughts and feelings about this.  He deserves everything I have to give. 

So, with a little shout out to Robin over at YOUR DAILY DOSE, I'll end this by saying that I have seen yet again that the lessons really will keep coming until we get it.  That must be why they say it doesn't do any good to shoot the messenger!


  1. Being timid and fearful is just not you I can tell. You have the right attitude. Prayer moves God and whatever the outcome concerning your husband I am sure you will be able to discern where to go from there with all the strength that you have. Take care.

  2. It is funny that you end with a reminder about lessons. I feel like I am getting Round 2 myself right now. It just can't be coincidence that I am dealing with repeat cancer so closely on the heels of my dad dying of cancer last year. So I know that there are lessons in that I just didn't get and another teacher is giving me another shot. I really want to get it this time because this really sucks. However, the teachers keep coming until the student figures it out!!!! So, I am really glad that you are working through YOUR lessons. We don't have to let our "crap" from the past dictate our future. In fact, life will continue to hand us lessons to help us work that sh#t through. You have overcome so much in a relatively short period of time just by doing some internal work and connecting the dots. It has allowed you to not let your fear control you. And that takes away all of its power. And you get you back. How great is that???? I am all happy and proud to know you at the same time.

  3. Only the two of you can make that decision. Good luck!

  4. good for you for finding the blessings in this situation. One of my favorite songs is the Garth Brooks one, Unanswered Prayers


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