Update: Looking Forward To A Summer Of Change

credit: picturedepot.com

Wow, I have been at this here blogging thing for about a year and half now.   I can hardly believe it!

Not only am I shocked that I am still in the same location geographically that I started in- since this whole blog got started as a way to document the process and express myself during my much hoped for move to Texas, but certainly maybe more surprising and rewarding is how much I have learned from the other wonderful blogs that I read on a regular basis.

There are simple and major things that have just clicked for me over this past year and a half and I can't really believe that my everyday life would have been as enriched, brought down to earth, or given as much perspective if I hadn't been sharing it, even in a vicarious way, with so many of you.  I appreciate your posts and the comments that you kindly take the time to give, in a huge way.

Now, as to the update: 

This coming summer is shaping up to be a doozy.  On May 16th my husband will have his much anticipated reconstructive surgery.  It will come exactly one week after his next big actuarial exam.  We planned it that way so he could recover without having to study intensely for another test right away.  He will have a major test every 6 months for at least the next 2-3 years.  Although I am pretty OK with all the medical things and physical therapy stuff that my husband will need to deal with, I have to admit that I may run into some emotional roadblocks.  I know that I am much better equipped to deal with the challenge this time around and I trust that things will go smoothly.  My husband deserves the best outcome and I will do whatever it takes to help get him through this.

This past week my husband and I have truly set things in motion to make our dream of owning a condo in Palm Springs happen.  After lots of research on what it will take to be successful with owning and managing a vacation home, we are starting the pre-approval process.  Even though I am aware that things are different these days when it comes to mortgages, we do have a down payment ready and should only require a small loan so we are trusting that the bank will see us as a good risk.  It feels like a huge step and yet it feels right.  By the week of July 4th my husband should be feeling pretty darn good and we plan to be in Palm Springs, physically looking at properties.  With some major prayer and a little luck we are hoping to be owners of a vacation rental that is available to rent by October 1st. 

To top it all off, my husband and I have absolutely not given up on our dream of moving to Texas.  As soon as he is recovered enough to make it feasible for him to travel for an in person interview, my husband will hit the application process hard again.  With another test passed, he should be a more interesting candidate within his chosen career.  If all of our wildest dreams could be realized, my husband and I just might be putting the finishing touches on a vacation condo in Palm Springs on our way to a new home in Texas.

I certainly do believe that everything we do in this life has meaning and that all things happen when and how they should.  I also feel as if these things that we are wishing for are possible and worth planning for.  I can dare to envision a future that holds so much for my husband and I to work hard for and share with everyone we love. 

Credit: sea-life-style.com

There's Still A Plan

I started this blog a little over 6 months ago when I was just sure that my husband and I were on our way to becoming new residents of Texas.  Then a few months ago, we decided that if Texas wasn't having us in any big hurry, well, we would just open up our hearts and minds to the idea that anywhere with warmth and sun would be just fine with us.  This kind of willingness to bend would surely get us to tan lines and high air conditioning bills fast, right?

Here we still are, in the rainy Northwest.  We are in the midst of enduring the coldest, wettest Spring ever on record...  officially.  I finally got the chance to mow the yard when the rain managed to stop for about 36 hours.  There are puddles in places that I never knew would puddle.  My flower pots are actually flooded.  My dogs look out the door when I open it and then look at me as if to say, "Are you kidding?  Would you want to have to go out there to do your business?"  When there is a moment of reprieve and it looks like there might be some sun, the dogs run out to lay on the deck only to return within a few minutes to lay on the floor and look depressed when the sky clouds up again.  We were totally teased by a beautiful sunny 65 degree day last Saturday and then I woke up to rain on the skylights for Easter.  So, yes, I am annoyed.

But then I have to feel like a real horses ass when I complain like this as I have been watching people who are truly suffering with all the tornado and storm damage all over the South.  I have a home.  With flower pots and a deck, no less.  I'm not out searching for my dogs or even lost family members.  So yeah, it is all so relative...

I know there is a plan at work.  I'm just not totally clear what that plan is anymore.  For our part, my husband and I are working the recruiter and ourselves hard, searching high and low for a good job that will allow us to pursue this dream of being where the sun shines most of the time and the cost of living is decent.  My husband is still working hard to fulfill his requirements to become a member of the Property/Casualty Society Of Actuaries.  He knows that within a year he will be at the Associate level.  This should make looking for a job a bit more fruitful. 

In the mean time, we are living and preparing as if we could up and move at any moment.  I am still getting rid of more stuff and making decisions about stuff that I will get rid of the moment I know we really will be leaving.  We are saving up cash.  The house looks great for all the prep work I did last Fall.  And, we are still trying to make the most of what is going on in our lives today, while we are still here.  We will be running another 5k on Sunday and enjoying a get together with friends this weekend.   I am also planning a small event for our neighborhood next week with my neighbor.  Most of all we are both learning that appreciating what you have, even when it's not exactly what you want is sometimes the most important plan of all.

14 Years

Its that time of year again, when my husband and I share a month of celebrations.  Both of our birthdays and our anniversary fall in January.  This was not by design, but it has turned out to be a great way to get through long winters.  January is also when we take a sort of inventory of our lives.  We look at everything, the big picture and the mundane- like insurance.  (My husband IS in insurance after all.)

Its kind of a yearly life evaluation that we started back on our 2nd anniversary when we went to Manzanita Beach on the Oregon Coast.  It was really nasty weather and we ended up watching the waves from a high bluff, crashing onto the shore during a big storm.  I guess it made us think about different possibilities and making plans for the future. 

Up until I met my husband back in October of 1995, nothing in my life was very stable.  Since we were married 14 years ago (we picked the next available 3 day weekend and eloped.), some really amazing transformation has come into my life. 

Some of these things are small: 

I have had the same last name for 14 years now.  Up until we got married, I had used 3 different last names and I had never been married before!  My mother had been married twice after I was born and subsequently changed my name along with hers each time as she didn't want me to feel left out.  (Funny, I still felt left out.)  Not a great plan! 

I have lived in only 4 different homes over the last 14 years.  We have lived in our current home for 8 and a half years!  Longer than I have ever lived in any other home.  Sure beats the 16 moves I made by the time I was 9 years old...

Some of the things that have changed in my life since I married my husband are HUGE:

What a true gift it has been to know him.  My husband has allowed me to be safe enough, to be open enough to discover who I am, and should have been, if I had never been through so much.  It has been an amazing sort of do over.  Before I knew my husband I never would have acknowledged that I needed a do over.  I was tough.  I was strong and I had made it through just fine.  Ha!

This is sort of what I tried to get at in my last post, but missed.  I've been left feeling guilty lately for all that I have in my life.  We've discussed it and my husband believes that this is part of what makes passing his exams so difficult.  With each one passed comes much reward in the form of compensation and relative freedom.   The actuarial field is very tight and those who can do the work well are highly prized.  Sometimes it's hard for him to remember that his success doesn't take away from anyone elses' chances.  It can be so hard not to worry about others who are just as deserving, yet haven't been in the right 'place'in their life- emotionally, spiritually or otherwise.  How long will they have to wait?  There are those who seem to suffer needlessly no matter how hard they try and those who seem to bring it on themselves.  Though it may not be our business to try to take care of, it is especially hard to let go of poor choices that people we love have made. 

My take on all of this is that yes, there will be guilt.  Anyone who gets through tough things can't help but feel for others who may get left behind in some way.  At the same time, the world is better when people use the talents they have to their fullest.  We all owe it to society to give freely what we have to offer.  Holding back not only hurts ourselves, but everyone in some way.  It will never be easy to see others suffer, but our own suffering does not necessarily save anyone- unless we do something bigger once we get through whatever life deals us.

So for anyone who might be curious, here's the plan for this year:  (knowing of course that there may be unforeseen bumps in the road), we have made the following plans for the coming year and the future in general:
Next (and hopefully last of the high level calculation multiple choice type) test- February 22, 2011
After that, relative free for all- meaning we concentrate on getting ourselves to the sun in one way or another!  We will add as many possible locations to the list as we can with the criteria being that said places have these qualities:  warm weather place, very little or no snow, low cost of living, have larger property casualty firms that my husband may find jobs with, prefer laid back people and lifestyle.  So far we have added Charleston, SC, Jacksonville, Tampa, and Tallahassee, FL. (Of course, we still really want Texas.)
Get ourselves to one of these places by Fall 2011.
Move on to the essay type tests that I am just sure my husband will be fabulous at in November 2011.
As always, will keep you updated.

Peeking Around A Corner

Just a quick little tidbit, because I have to say something to someone about this...
My husband got news from a recruiter last night.  News that means that he should be interviewing, in person, in Texas, within a couple of weeks!  I know this could be something real or nothing at all.  Still, my mind can't help but wander through the possibilities.  What this could mean...
There is one thing that this news definitely means.  I told myself that as soon as it got to the point that we needed to go out for a real in person interview, then I would tell people in my work world that there is a possibility that I could be leaving.  I would do this as a courtesy because in the work that I do, it would be nice to give them at least a month to start looking for other options.  As soon as I get an actual date, I will go through with that.  (We needed money to help fund this little endeavor of moving across the country, so it was imperative that I not say anything until we had a bit saved up for this.)  My friends have known for about four months now and that has been interesting to see how that changes up the friendships, in ways good and bad.  Putting work on early notice will be a brand new leap of faith for me.

Anti-hoarding

Got a great new pastime.  It's loads of fun and involves loads of unloading.
As my husband gets bites from recruiters and signs are coming my way that this move to Texas is really going to happen, I get busy anti-hoarding. 
My husband's part in supporting this move is to find a job and pass a test while he's waiting to find said job.  My deal is to get rid of stuff.  (And eventually find a new place for us live in.)
I try to figure out what I could possibly live without.  And then I whittle it down some more.
So far, I've got a primo pile of 'moving sale' stuff going in the guest room and I've had some tremendous trips to the dump.  In one load I managed to rid myself of an old plastic swimming pool, a bent up bike, sun-rotted patio chairs, broken flower pots, a non-working vacuum cleaner, and a dead barbecue- and then threw in the neighbors ruined screen door just for kicks and giggles.  What is it that causes us humans to keep stuff around way after it has reached it's end of usefulness?
I don't have a clue.  What I do know is that right now it's fun to dig in and get rid of stuff.  I like to get some good music going and go at it.  I get down with some Eminem or Nickelback.
I actually look forward to coming home after work and working some more, at getting rid of junk.  I've been inspired by what I've seen other bloggers accomplish in their clean out efforts.
I now happily admit that I never use the bread maker, or the rotisserie.  Nor the cutesy dishes that I moved from the last house and still never used.  I get satisfaction from giving things to neighbors that I know they'll enjoy.  I have fun using up good stuff that I like, but don't want to haul.
I get a sense of accomplishment when I can get a room to echo. 
Ah the simple pleasures of preparing for a long distance move...

Every Journey Starts Somewhere...

I used to think that in order to do a blog 'the right way' I would have to start at the beginning. 
So anyone who reads it would get what was going on right away.
Then I realized that jumping in where I'm at is what works best for me and I have had wonderful experiences doing just that when reading other peoples stuff.
So here's a big thanks to those who have no idea yet (I'm going to suck it up and join as a follower right after I write this) that their style and class have brought me into the fold.
This blog will be mostly about my move from the Great Northwest to Southeast Texas, and then of course anything else that is on my mind (my 'most stellarly interesting' family rates high among the anything else...).
So to begin with, I am here living in an enjoyable limbo of having my husband look for a job where we want to live while studying for his next test that he needs to pass for his chosen career.
I continue to work my part time, great, non-traditional, I could do it anywhere job.
We are definitely fortunate in that we are not some of the many that must search for work these days.
I am oh so grateful for that.
Yet we both are beginning to get a little antsy about this process.
There are many reasons why we are choosing to embark on this project now.  I will get into that later.
The important part is that the adventure is beginning!