Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Aunt On A Mission

My sister is a woman of many talents.  She is intelligent and resourceful.  However, the things she chooses to do with her talents are questionable, to put it nicely. 
It seems she's found a really great way to avoid important court dates, like the one she missed today. See, if you want to continue on with your pathetic life consisting of dragging your children down with you to lower and lower depths, then the thing to do is to keep missing custody hearings by checking your drugged out self into the hospital the night before a hearing.  SIX TIMES over the past two years.
Either my sister has the worst, luck, ever. Or she's up to her usual level of seriously manipulating whatever situation she is in. Just when you think she's backed into a corner and couldn't possibly slime her way out of it, start following the slime trail. That trail is long and slippery...
Let me tell you, this is one of those times that my husband actually counted me down- 3, 2, 1... He does that when he knows that I'm about to do something like spin my head around and blow pea soup. I didn't. I kept it cool. Only because I really wanted some answers. And because when I do have one of my rare true blow ups, I don't always remember just what I've said...and that can be bad.
I spent most of my day with a judges assistant and a parole officer. They are now quite aware of just how obvious some behavior patterns have become. And how tired I am of nothing being done about said behavior patterns.
Although my sister was unable to represent her side of the issue today, the process is now moving on without her. Just as it should be. My nephew, Nathan, will be spending the remainder of this year with his father, sharing the holiday season with his Dad for the first time in 5 years.  I think the judge finally got it when we pointed out that with every second chance that my sister is given, my nephew LOSES yet another chance at any sort of normal childhood.
I get it. These people see a lot of cases.  Many that are just like my nephew's. Unfortunately, there are many kids without someone who loves them enough to fight for them. I was that kid at one time, and I refuse to stand by and watch my nephew suffer alone. I know what it's like to be told that no one will ever believe you and feel as if that is true.
Unfortunately Nathan has learned to lie, that the truth gets you into trouble. He doesn't really know what the truth is any more. He has a hard time trusting anyone. But he is also bright and unique and deserves all the support that it's going to take to get him back on track to enjoy a normal life one day.  It has been an ugly trip already, but I swear my nephew will learn that people love him and will be there for him, no matter how hard this journey gets.


  1. good job getting your nephew a little christmas cheer. wIth you to go to bat for him, it should get better and better...

  2. That makes me so sad. And it makes me grateful that my mother didn't show up to my custody hearing. Because that gave me the chance to have the kind of upbringing that your nephew deserves.

    Hoping for good things soon...

  3. Your nephew has you batting for him. One day he will see all that you have done. He will see him mother clearly. He will see his father clearly. The does dawn when everyone and their motives become crystal clear and that is when you get to make the decision about the family you keep and the family you don't. Not everyone deserves your time and attention. Some people only drag you down. That might sound hateful, but it is true. You give your time to the people who gave you theirs. Just be there for him. You do that and you will always be family.

  4. I'm glad to hear you stood up for the innocent one, your nephew... it's the kids who always get the raw deal in these cases.

    We had something similar in our family, with my sister years ago. It was hard, since was my own sister. Yet you just can't stand by and let the children suffer.

    Good job, Auntie.


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