Monday, June 27, 2011

Choosing Not To Change

There are times in life when one simply must change.  And most of the time change is difficult, but at least eventually worth it.  Some changes are obviously major and others start out small and sometimes become surprising large in the end. 

One clear example of this is when a family welcomes a child.  I can't really think of anything that brings more change.  I just got back from a maternity photo shoot for a couple who have been trying to have a baby for 7 years and finally are within 2 weeks of delivery!  They are excited and are meeting this big change with happy hearts and willing souls.  I loved being able to share and capture this thrilling time with them. 

In the latest chapter of my own life, things have gotten pretty shaken up.  And mostly, much for the better.  I have written about some of that here on this blog.  Lately though, I have had an interesting relationship with change in some ways.  In my effort to be open to all that is available to me in this life, I have tried not to pass judgement too quickly on opportunities to change even if they are a bit uncomfortable.  I have 'tried on a decision' for a while before really deciding what I would do in a situation.  This is not the norm for me.  I am typically very decisive and don't look back nor regret the decisions I make.  This has turned out to be a pretty good experience for me overall.  

Still, there are a few things that have popped up that I have noticed that I just do not wish to change.  Even if there are benefits, sometimes we as humans just don't decide to change certain things.  One of those for me is the way that I speak.  While I know in my heart of hearts that sometimes my voice is too loud or carries too far in certain social situations, I also know that I am not going to change this about myself.  Sometimes people shush me or tell me to quiet down in some way, especially older folks.  It doesn't happen often, but it has happened enough that I have taken notice.  When I do try to adjust my voice in these situations and appease certain people I end up resentful and feel as if I cannot truly express myself.  I just haven't been able to find a good balance that pleases everyone and still allows me to communicate freely.  I could use the excuse that I grew up very squelched and limited in what was allowed of me.  I could say that my voice is bubbly and exuberant and that these people must be stuffy old folks.  The truth is some people are going to be offended by the volume and manner in which I choose to communicate.  And I'm O.K. with that.  Way more O.K. than I am with trying to change something about myself that I actually like.  I like it that I don't have to be asked to speak up.  I like it that I'm not shy.  While I am not usually inappropriate to the point of obnoxious, I do like being a person, especially a woman, who doesn't generally hold back. 

That's really what it's all about isn't it?  One isn't likely to change something that doesn't hold the promise of any real benefit for themselves.  The old cost/benefit analysis...  It's funny how some things just come down to that, don't they? 

What things have you ever faced and chosen not to change, and why?


  1. I think your approach is just fine.

  2. I think there's a difference between recognizing the need for change and not feeling as if anything needs to be changed at all. You're on the right path, friend.

  3. Where do I begin!! This was an awesome - great- wonderful post!!!! YES!!! We NEED to be OURSELVES !
    I am also not a quiet / shy girl myself! I talk - ALOT. Possibly a little too much... heeeeee!
    I am so happy that you have decided to just be YOU!
    Loved your comment on my blog about marriage!
    Isn't is something that people think it is silly to make your husband happy? makes no sense to me!
    We have three sons- but they are grown and have their own lives - so it is really just me and v . I believe with or without children - a woman in the home - sets the tone.
    Have a PRETTY day!

  4. The truth is most people can't change the stuff that is intrinsic to who they are. Now, if there is something that you feel is really harming you or sabotaging you, that is worth working on. It needs working on. In other words, if you embrace change, want to change something, than it is possible. In fact, that is the ONLY time it is possible. However, to try and change for others will never work. So, good for you on this. I am also a fairly vocal person (okay, a bit understated), so it is important to be aware of your setting, as you have stated. However, be yourself always.

  5. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It worked! Video on blog! Thank you!!
    have a PRETTY day!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...