One day, back when I was working as a nanny and was still really struggling to make ends meet, the father of the kids I was working with reminded me of one of the simple truisms of life: You either have more time or more money- not usually the luxury of both at the same time.
Lately, as I contemplate the exciting changes that are on the horizon for me and mine- eventually moving to a warm weather spot, investing in a vacation property, working with my husband through his recovery to health, and even seeing my life through my own perimeters instead of those that have been assigned to me by others in the past- I can't help but contemplate that idea of time and resources.
I want to be careful and considerate with the things I give my time and effort to. I want to spend my resources on things that truly matter to me. I want to build the life I desire out of what I have.
That means I cannot please everyone. Not even close. And I am pretty OK with that.
So I've noticed that I'm putting more and more time and effort into things that are important to my husband.
It feels good to me. It feels right.
I'm a natural supporter, an ally, a partner.
I've never been comfortable in the limelight.
Some of us are supporting actors. And damn good ones.
Unproductive beginnings can produce mad skills. And just because those skills might have been originally produced in fear and taken advantage of by some in the past, doesn't mean they aren't real skills and meaningful in my life today.
It is the most fun and rewarding thing to be there with someone who doesn't necessarily need you to survive, and yet is certainly better off because you are there. There's a big difference between feeling as if you must keep everything in balance to avoid disaster and being able to provide a solid foundation in a partnership that is more than the sum total of its parts.
It's good to have a worthy place to put my time and energy into. A place that makes me a better person too... a person who will be more ready to accomplish my own goals as well.
So I'm curious... Are you the type of person that enjoys more of a supporting role? How did you come to accept that about yourself? Are you able to successfully weave in your own accomplishments? What's the most that you have ever happily sacrificed for someone else? Tell me your stories!
We play the hand we are dealt. What are we here for if not to help one another? I think being a supportive, nurturing person makes the world a better place. We shouldn't compare ourselves to others because as is often true in my case we come up short. "Find a need and fill it" is a good way to live. Take care.
ReplyDelete"Some of us are supporting actors. And damn good ones"
ReplyDeleteWhat is a star actor with out the star supporting actors. It is those supporting actors that keep things going! They are usually the backbone of things that work well.
I'm glad you have been able to put more focus into things that are important to you. Learning to that you don't have to please everyone is something many of us should learn.
I do a lot of volunteer work for the football booster, but that's about it. I take the rest of the year off from offering my services free to other groups. I actually had someone tell me that she expected me to help out when I was done with football. No I didn't hit her. I wanted to. But didn't.
ReplyDelete