Maybe

Art by Stuart Miles, found at freedigitalphotos.net

When I was a kid, 'maybe' always meant no.  No matter what.
'Maybe' was said in the presence of others for the purpose of keeping up a charade.
'Maybe' was nothing more than a negative disguised as openness, so outsiders wouldn't suspect how rigid things really were.
'Maybe' was reserved for those few moments when I forgot the rules, slipped up and made a request in public.  'Maybe' was code for "don't make that mistake again."

It's funny how even after we learn that the rest of the world is not the same as what we may have experienced growing up, the effects of the ingrained lessons of our family will often linger on- even if we don't mean for them to.  Sometimes it catches us by surprise just when we feel how strong we are and just when there's really no reason to fall back into old habits.

Right now I am awaiting the final answer to a fairly big 'maybe'.  And I'm reminding myself that an answer of yes or no is just that.  An answer.  A fair answer that doesn't mean anything other than that. 

Life is full of questions and answers and sitting with a 'maybe' is not necessarily a bad thing.

Maybe that's what life is... a wink of the eye and winking stars.
-Jack Kerouac

I Don't Think I Have Anything Left To Cross

My husband is back!
But he doesn't have any news to share yet.  He feels as if the series of interviews went well, but he can't say whether he thinks they would be leaning one way or the other.

He was given all kinds of info. about benefits, etc.  Talk about dangling that carrot!  Let's just say that there are things about this prospective company that are available as benefits that we would have never even imagined.  It makes his current place of work look like 'just a job'. 

So naturally I am wishin' and hopin'- hard.  Fingers and everything else crossed!

 It's funny how this whole thing got started because we would like to move to Texas.  And getting sunnier weather and a lower cost of living wouldn't be half bad either.  Now we are learning that looking around to see what's out there is never a bad idea.

In the midst of all the excitement of what could be possible, my husband has decided that if this is not the job at this moment in time then he is going to use this experience to motivate himself to end this year by passing a second test, along with several other prerequisites that he has acquired this year already.  That way he will be absolutely irresistible to any possible employers out there.

I love his positive attitude and I feel that this experience has already been a good one.  I am grateful for whatever we have in this life and I know that we are so fortunate for every opportunity that we ever get.  Still, I would like to think that this one is maybe, just maybe the particular one that we have been waiting for. 
                                                     How about you???

Something Is Afoot...

Maybe.

Regular readers: YOU know what I'm getting at.

There's a really good opportunity out there.  And they are interested.  Very.  And so are we.

AND... it's in Texas.

Now I'm not really superstitious or anything.  I don't knock on wood like my neighbor.  But I don't like to jump the gun either.  My husband and I have learned that it is tough to stay excited and ready to do something at any moment, but also that it is tougher still to realize that you might be missing out on what's right here in front of you in your life right now...

Let's just say this is the CLOSEST that we have gotten to having what we have put out there in the universe as what we want to happen, actually happening.

I still believe what is meant to happen will absolutely happen for my husband and I.  And if this particular opportunity is the one, boy will I have to laugh. 

We finally made plans more than 6 weeks out for things we would do here.  We even made reservations for another 'warm weather' vacation.  I just got through as much organizing as I could possibly do ahead of time and finally got back into all my regular activities...

Things do have a way of coming full circle, don't they?

Keep us in your thoughts and I'll keep you posted!