Sometimes I Embarrass Myself

How funny that the word embarrass has the word 'ass' in it.
Cuz' right now that's about how I feel.

Yeah, it hasn't been a stellar week- I lost my sweet little dog last Sunday, and then my Nephew's family had to put his cat down last night.  We still haven't heard back from my husbands college room mate (and best friend) in New Jersey yet.  And I've been wanting to pull my hair out or reach through the phone and pull my mortgage brokers hair out over his 'tiny' mistake that cost us a week of waiting for a closing date...

I have been edgy and irritable.  And yet there really isn't any excuse for the way I've been letting myself get all worked up over stuff that isn't going to change just because I got all worked up over it.

All of this stuff is just annoying and I embarrass myself when I don't realize how much worse things can be.  

So... I'm letting everyone know that I am so sorry for being so darn selfish this week.

I think of Nathan's grandma that only wanted to go on a cruise to the Bahamas for her 10th anniversary, with her husband who travels for work so often that they rarely get to celebrate anything at all together.  The trip was to be last week and they left from a port in New York city.  Needless to say they never made it to the Bahamas and were lucky to be able to get back home on Thursday after riding out hurricane Sandy and 3 days of waiting in the airport for flights that were cancelled over and over again.

I think of my friends who just lost their church home.   Their church was suddenly disbanded due to financial issues and a pastor that resigned.  This church was really important in their lives and has been the glue that helped to stabilize them through the loss of parents at a young age, infertility issues, and a long bout of joblessness.  I just know they feel so adrift without the strength of their church.

I also think of all those people who made it through hurricane Sandy and yet have not one material thing left in this world.  No home, no tangible reminders of memories, maybe not even all of their family members.

Sometimes I can't believe what an ass I can make of myself.

While I can't promise that I won't let things get to me again, I can choose how I react to the daily annoyances of life.  It's not always easy, but I owe it to everyone to put a little more effort into the positive side and a little less jumping to donkey-like reactions.

Curious Donkey by Evgeni Dinev / Image found at freedigitalphotos.net

I'll start by concentrating on one of the main reasons I have been so excited about having a vacation condo:  I have an idea about being able to use our Palm Springs condo and maybe even network with others who also have vacation properties to be able to help those who never get the luxury of having any vacation at all.

Photo Credit:  Hand Fire by Salvatore Vuono
Image found at freedigitalphotos.net

Ah yes, so much more productive than getting all worked up and annoyed.....

What If I'm Nuts?!

If you knew me IRL (in real life- whatever that is), you certainly would have heard by now about how much I used to worry about the fact that I might turn out to be a real nut job.  Let's just say that in my family the odds truly are not stacked in my favor on this one.  Realistically,with my family history, I have about a 75% chance of being clinically whacked in one way or another- supposedly diminishing after the age of 30 or so.  So I might be safe by now, but I also might not be.  Whatever...  I'm currently 38 and I figure that maybe it would be worse if I never, ever get to experience any crazy (as a mature adult who can make her own choices) at all.

So, yesterday my husband comes home and he tells me that his place of work will be going through a major shake up in the next few months.  He also lets me know that his department is very likely to be one that might be moved to the corporate headquarters in Boston. 

And then he looks at me in that knowing way that says that he is well aware that there is 'no way on God's green earth' that I will ever be caught alive living in Boston (there is background here- no offense to Bostonians) and says:  so I guess that we would have every reason to move to Texas then, huh?

And I answer with:  Yup.  I'll call the real estate agent so we can get to work on possibly selling the house. 

What if nuts is what I need after all?  Maybe careful planning is not going to be the answer to getting to Texas.  Maybe a shake up is what it's going to take to get me out of my safety zone and away from the idea that I can 'fix' it so my life will never be too crazy- so I can ward off all the crazy that was when I was growing up.  Maybe too much safety isn't what it's cracked up to be.

I'll let ya know!

Credit: pics22.com