Sometimes Our Subconscious Is Ahead Of The Game

Because I still live in the same area that I've always lived for my whole 38 years on the planet, my life is pretty steeped in tradition.  From the ways that I always prepare for holidays to the places I like to take a weekend drive, there is a pretty set internal 'map' living inside me. 

Sure, there isn't really anything outside myself and my belief system that absolutely dictates what I do, but I inevitably end up doing things in a very similar way year in and year out.  It seems to be kind of the way many of us humans work- we like patterns and things that make us feel secure in some way. 

Especially for those of us who have managed to break away from unhealthy family rituals it can be quite a shock to see how quickly and easily we mange to box ourselves into yet another regimen, that may or may not be meaningful to us in any real way.  For some of us, safety has always been in knowing as much as possible about what's coming next and we have been willing to trade exciting and fulfilling lives for whatever level of safety we could get.

So it struck me hard, the other day, that this past year has already been the beginning of many new experiences and new opportunities to get outside of my comfort zone.  Without realizing it, I have been subconsciously moving toward less security and more spontaneity.  I have been willing to try new things, even breaking out of traditions that I love. 

Photo Credit: Simon Howden/freedigitalphotos.net

Part of that has been because of new opportunities that I couldn't imagine would ever be mine.  Part of it is simply a willingness to bend in ways I used to be afraid of... and learning that I can bend a long way without breaking!

For many years I have declared that what I really want is a more spontaneous life.  And at the same time I've long joked about how I was going to have my gravestone inscribed with the words:  Trust No One.  Turns out these two ideals don't work together at all. 

You have to trust yourself before you can trust anyone else. 

And I have to trust in my ability to handle whatever this spontaneous life might bring my way before I can ever truly embrace it. 

It's still a work in progress, but it's way more fun than living inside any box could ever be!