Monday, May 12, 2014

Still A Balancing Act

Do you have any friends that always seem to come out on top, no matter what? 
Are you that person that doesn't worry or fret about much of anything and it all just works out for you?

I am a person who doesn't envy much... at all, really.
But oh how I would love to be one of those carefree, footloose souls.

I am working on trusting the universe and knowing deeply that things will work out as they should for all of us.  I feel pretty confident that living whole-heartedly and trusting go hand in hand.  And if you've been reading for a while you know that is a big change for me.  For so many reasons, trusting doesn't come naturally for me and living as if there really isn't anyone or anything out to get you is pretty new to me too.

But sometimes I still get it wrong.  Cuz' living life in a genuine way doesn't guarantee anything.  But then again, living with fear doesn't either.  So I guess I'm learning that it's best to live as if life itself is not out to get you.  And then if something crummy happens in a moment of misjudging, I'll just be human after all.  And that's way better than a fearful emotional mess of a human, anyway.

This insight was brought on by a moment in which I thought I was silly to think the worst possible outcome and then very nearly experiencing just that.  I should have trusted my instinct and not brushed away my doubts as being just negativity creeping in.  $1072.00, an endoscope and the thought that I might have actually permanently harmed my sweet little guy will hopefully teach me to recognize the difference.
No animals were actually harmed beyond minor discomfort- thank goodness!


  1. Maybe this could also be called listening to your gut. I think that your gut told you in your youth to always be on guard because something disastrous was around the corner. And your gut was right. Something was. That is what life is like when a crazy person is running the show... and you are a kid caught up in their insanity. It took a long time for you to understand the difference and to listen to your gut when it said that life wasn't actually out to get you. Once you separate from the crazy, disaster doesn't loom around every corner. But that was what you were used to so it took a long time to listen to that reasonable voice. But listening to your gut and the positive messages it sends doesn't mean ignoring when your gut sounds the alarm.

    The bottom portion of this blog bit was confusing. "Something" happened to Tanner and you had a feeling about it, but you brushed it off (for a while) as negative thinking. And then it turned out you were right and it required a procedure and whatever is in that bottle used to be in Tanner. Is that even close to what you were saying????

    1. Sorry to be confusing. The story is long and I don't want to sound like I am blaming someone else for my decisions. On top of that I feel terrible for letting anything happen to my Tanner.
      Basically, the story goes: We're hanging out with friends and dogs. Tanner is super excited over steak being bbq'd. Someone hands him and all the dogs each a small piece. The sun is shining and we're all having fun. I have a bad feeling, but I don't want to question it because I do that too much- when things are good I still question when it will end and fully expect to have at least equal 'bad times' even though I know this is not how the universe works and plus I have a surplus of that left from the past so I should be good with that level for a awhile for sure, right?!
      Anyway, shortly after all dogs eat said steak pieces Tanner is not right. He is hunched over and clearly not good. ER vet finds that little piece of bone- literally 1cm x 2cm lodged in Tanners throat and has to endoscope. Chihuahuas are prone to trachea issues if they get trauma to that area at all. Actually vets said I did everything right. Took care of it right away. Should be no lasting trauma. Literally not even a scratch to his trach area. All because I wasted no time in getting treatment. But man what I would have done to go back and check out that steak bite first like I had wanted to. I was just torn by not wanting to be a 'negative Nelly' and always be questioning everything. Sometimes it would be nice to just lay back a bit and relax. I just have to figure out which 'messages' are real and which are just my un-trusting tendencies. It's still a tough call for me, ya know what I mean?

    2. That is okay. You know why my blogs are so long? I have no problems sharing details of things. The fact that the story is long HAS NEVER SLOWED ME DOWN. You might want to think on that one... lol. But the whole post makes much more sense with the explanation. Before we get to your questions... consider in the future writing the story that provokes the question. And then asking the questions. In this case, you could have written the story you told me in the comments at the top of the blog bit and then have everything else come after.

      I think my problem would have been having this gut instinct, but not wanting to appear to rude to your host (dispersing the meat). So, you did the next best thing by keeping a close eye on Tanner and responding immediately when he was in distress. I am not going to judge you for allowing it to happen. Of course, if/when your gut screams at you in the future you can tell anyone you think might be offended THIS STORY. Now, let me check that food before you give it to my dog! ha!

      Lastly, I would say listening to your gut is not being negative. And JJ's comment made me laugh, but it is also right. He trusts who he trusts. And that gives him peace of mind and allows him to be positive most of the time. Maybe that can work for you, too... It is OKAY not to just give everyone you meet your trust. Not everyone is trustworthy.

  2. Jasmine: No one likes to roll with the punches more than I do, but fear keeps us safe. Trust must be earned. I would not give it away too quickly. That is what keeps me relaxed. If it makes any sense, I trust everyone I trust.

    1. Hence the idea of a balancing act. I used to joke that my headstone would read: Trust No One. Now I've learned that most people (outside my family) have no dark intentions. This was merely an accident, really nothing more. I just have to figure out how to trust my gut, even when there are no signs of absolute danger. Many times my 6th sense has been good for me and I just need to realize that it's not rude to trust that, even in the face of no other signs of danger.

  3. I always have to tell myself that the universe unfolds as it should. It's the only thing that helps me get through the times where I'm scratching my head, trying to figure out why!

    1. Yup, I'm going to take this as keeping me from some other worse danger in the future. I am thankful that the only real price here was money and that's not nearly that big of a deal!


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