Sunday, November 20, 2011

For My Husband, Because He So Deserves It

My husband is about the most selfless person I know.  Seriously.  I'm not just sayin' that.

So the fact that he has finally agreed to and scheduled a consultation with a plastic surgeon to deal with what he was left with after The Thing That Changed Everything is so wonderful!  This is something I have been waiting patiently for, for quite a while now.  But I know my husband is a man who doesn't need to be pushed.  He can too easily be influenced by what I want.  While he would do anything for me, quite literally, I do not ever want to make his life decisions for him.  It just wouldn't be right.

So... there are many decisions that will have to be made regarding different options for my husband and his future well-being and quality of life.  He is much too young to deal with the things he has dealt with for over 2 years now.  And we have been told by numerous doctors that he will have several options for his care when he decides to finally have his revision surgery.  Since his initial life-saving surgery happened as an emergency, things were sort of left in limbo and we were told that he should have a revision at the 18 months to 2 years mark because of unsafe long term weaknesses in his abdomen.  Here we are at 2 years 4 months and finally starting this process.  I can't really overstate how traumatic the first surgery was so I am not surprised that there has been some delay.  Neither one of us has been looking forward to any more surgery for my husband.  But now, it finally feels right to seek out an answer as to what my husband can do to be 'made whole again' as much as possible.  This will be a first step in planning that we hope will lead to a set process that will begin after the new year.

I know I am so grateful to have my husband alive.  I cannot imagine my life without him.  And so I also know that it is not really fair to feel any bitterness about all of this.  So many others have so much more to deal with in their lives.  And yet... I must admit to having a little resentment.  I am only human I suppose and seeing my husband go through pain, body changes, and uncertainty has left me a tiny bit weary I must admit.  Still, I have hope in my heart and want the best possible outcome. 

This is where all of you come in!  We will be in the office of the plastic surgeon at 12 noon tomorrow- Nov. 21st, Pacific time.  She will be planning the overall surgery and then we will work with specialists depending on what all is needed.  Please keep us in your thoughts, send us good vibes, pray for us- whatever it is that you personally do in your life when divine intervention is needed.  I find myself so badly wanting all of this to just go away.  And yet we must venture through it.  There is no other way to restore health and function for my husband.

Specifically, our needs are: help with complicated incisional hernia repair and finding the right specialist, repair and restoration of core muscle function as much as possible, eliminating scar tissue that could contribute to further intestinal blockage in the future, and avoiding secondary infection and fluid build-up that my husband experienced with the first surgery that contributed to complications and poor healing after that original surgery. And of course, for emotional healing and well being as we go through this process.  That's not asking for too much is it?!

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I know this is an important first step and can only be a good thing.  I hate to admit it, but I have grown tired of always worrying about what is going on inside my husbands abdomen, what the pains mean, why his stomach is so lumpy and uneven.  It's almost as if we've had a third party in our relationship for the past two years and I am so ready to let it go.  And yet, I am scared.  I can't imagine any more complications.  I wish we could just magically make my husband totally healthy again without having to go through anything more.  But I also know that is not reality.  And so we begin this chapter of our lives...  Help us make a wish come true!

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  1. Happy thoughts, prayers, good vibes...all coming your way. Hoping for an update soon!

  2. surgery sucks. I know. Prayers for your man that he has a much better experience this time around.

  3. All my best to you and your husband.


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