At the time I had so much guilt and doubt and felt like such a selfish brat. Who was I thinking that I had the right to just decide that I deserved a break? ...that I might actually function better if I wasn't working quite so many hours outside of the home?
Holy Moly, was I wrong- about stupidly feeling guilty and wondering if I was doing the right thing, I mean!!!
It has only been a month.
And this has been a month that included my sister being sentenced to serious jail time, my little dog having a horrible reaction to a basic neutering surgery (he's fine, just a bout of chihuahua anxiety as it turned out), dealing with taxes and then of course the horrible terrorist activity that we have all felt hit us in the gut- one week ago.
So I am simply amazed that I am facing a Monday morning tomorrow and I can honestly say that for once I am not overwhelmed. I am not feeling like I am behind already. I do not feel as if I don't know how I will get through the coming week.
Even more surprising is the fact that I feel as if I have not had to pull out the 'facade', make nice and make sure everyone else is good while I am busy feeling like I have been run over by something large and am busily picking myself off the pavement before anyone notices. After all, I would never want anyone to think I might not get the job done...
Seriously, I feel like I can finally breathe. And I never really realized just how long I had been holding my breath.
Photo Credit: "Guardians Of The Light" by sattva found at: freedigitalphotos.net