) and I have talked about the fact that life seems to keep sending you the same message over and over and over until you get it.Oh yeah, some days can really feel like head to wall experiences if you get caught up in this little hamster wheel of the universe.
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So right now I'm thinking that I hope this is the last time around for me needing to learn that it's OK to be in uncertainty. Not that this will be the last time that I'll ever have uncertainty... Nooo, that's completely unrealistic. I get that.
But this should be the last time that I ever have to equate uncertainty with getting all anxiety ridden, overly emotional and just certain that the only thing I could be certain of in a moment like this is that all things negative eventually grow out of uncertainty. Whew- did you catch your breath after that one?! (This is where those of you who were raised in households in which you needed to be hyper vigilant to avoid any possible upsets to the ol' family apple cart can rest assured that yes, this is a personal shout out to you.)
This time around I am learning that not only does life go on while we are in uncertainty; it can actually go on in a remarkably positive way. If you try hard enough to separate yourself from the queasiness that tends to take over in the midst of uncertain moments, those moments of uncertainty can lead to paying attention in sharp detail to every day things that will leave us with memories and appreciation that we might have otherwise missed.
Today, in this moment, that's where I'm at. I'm stopping to take notice of the little things. I'm listening with a more open heart. While it's true that I will probably always be more comfortable when things in my life are fairly 'settled', I am making a concerted effort to allow the positives that always exist- even when life is a bit out of sorts, to come through. I want to experience the best life has to offer, no matter how unsettled I might be feeling.
Often I think we've got our eyes on the wrong things and miss what should be obvious. It's kind of like texting while driving. Or maybe driving with your eyes closed.
ReplyDeleteLee
A Faraway View
Yikes! Your examples are scary thoughts! But you are right- I don't want to miss out while I am worrying about what might ever be. I need to live in the here and now and stick to a good outline for the future without getting caught up in the details.
DeleteOh yeah, patterns. I remember that conversation well!!!!
ReplyDeleteBreaking free of any pattern is the most refreshing feeling we will ever have. My recent revelation is similar to yours. I spent a lot of time regretting my bad choices and feeling like I was a victim of other people. It was a light bulb moment when I realized that I was always Captain of My Ship. Never was I a victim. Instead, I was a Captain who made one poor choice after another. That changed everything!!! By understanding my own patterns, I can Choose not to repeat those mistakes. I can be a Captain who makes Healthy Choices.
Sounds like you have had the breakthrough about uncertainty. You are still the Captain. And you will never again treat uncertainty in the same way again. That is huge, Jasmine!!!! Good for you:)
It feels so freeing to not have to stick with the same old stuff that wasn't really working for you anyway, doesn't it? And yes, for me at one time I wasn't the Captain of my Ship because I was a minor living in a crazy world. But then as I got older it was absolutely my choice to stay in that mess, even if I didn't know a way out. When I finally learned that I couldn't fix anyone else, I decided it was time to fix me!
DeleteDear Jazsmine
ReplyDeleteYou appear to have much strength in your character so I hope this is just a fleeting moment for you. Maybe it's Seattle. Today it is dreary, rainy and rather cold and I think this is annoying weather. You talk about living where it's sunny and that might be a pleasant change for you. I always think of that song from Annie... Tomorrow. It's a rousing song and it sounds good on a day like today.
Actually, it's sunny here today. We often get schizophrenic weather around here! And for now, I'll take what I can get!
DeleteThis post is just me reflecting on what it's like to live in a moment that isn't necessarily my favorite- I just don't do well with uncertainty; it often feels like impending doom due to past patterns. And yet while living with something I don't like, I can make the choice to see what's good that is going on all around me. If I just take the time to choose how I see it, I can change my outlook for the better. That's what I'm choosing to do!
Amen! I must be awefully hard headed. It took a several strokes that almost killed me to learn that lesson.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is how we need to put things into perspective, isn't it?! Something real comes along and makes us realize where our true priorities lay and how it does us no good to worry about what could happen.
DeleteI do think being positive is a choice. I'm glad you picked it.
ReplyDeleteJasmine: Read my latest post. It is funny how birds of a feather flock together.
ReplyDeleteIt is very hard to be in uncertain times or situations. I am a much happier pson when everything is set, going as planned, and when life is not throwing us curve balls. Yet, in the last few years, all we seem to get is those wild curve balls and lots of surprises. And I am not one who likes surprises or for things to go anyway other than what I have planned.
ReplyDeleteBut as I am learning, it is important for us all to learn to enjoy each day and not spend too much effort on tomorrow.
Glad you are looking at things in a positive light. I think we often see and experience the best things in life, when we least expect them and when times are not as we expect.
Life is crazy. Never perfect and filled with uncertainty and fleeting happiness. Take it all in stride. The good and the bad. Your positive attitude is what always keeps me coming back. :)
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