Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Love Child?

In response to the news about Arnold Schwarzenegger, I must say that I am not all that surprised that he has been out there screwing around without much thought to what any possible consequences might be to his family.  Just another politician high on power and disrespectful to women.  Really, are any of us surprised by this kind of behavior from these power hungry types?  Even after a long marriage and 4 beautiful children...  Some people just never seem to realize or care about what there is to lose until it's gone.

For me there is an interesting angle to all of this.  Whenever I hear a story of this type, I concentrate on one particular point of view.  You see, I am a 'love child'.  Born of a short term affair that my mother had with an older man who was prone to drink, or at least this is what I have been told.  My mother never was very pleased at how precocious I was as a kid and she has enjoyed being the only one to hold all the answers of my origin.  But then I must admit I've never been sure I really wanted to know.  It's an interesting stalemate.

At any rate I can't help but wonder- where did this term 'love child' come from?  (JJ probably knows!)  I mean, it just doesn't seem to fit.  There certainly wasn't a whole lot of love surrounding me and my entrance into this world.  There were plenty of secrets and lies.  And sadness.  And disappointment.  And shame.  No family came to see me when I was born.  My mother and I lived in poverty.  Between the ages of 6 and 7, I went from finally having my grandmother acknowledge my existence and see me for the first time to having what little I did know of who I was dashed to pieces when I found out that the fathers name on my birth certificate was not that of my Dad at all. 

I am aware that things have changed over the years and that there is less stigma now about being born out of wedlock.  I don't really believe that I am 'less than' for having been born this way.  After all, I didn't have a choice in the matter.  Still that doesn't change the sting that comes with knowing that my parents didn't love each other enough to get married or even to bother with a long term relationship before carelessly creating another life.  I guess I would tell any young woman that thinks that there is no issue with how a child comes to be and fantasizes only about a sweet baby and how wonderful that is, that she needs to really think about how she would feel if she were the one being brought into that particular situation as a child. 

There are some basic levels of support in this world that everyone deserves.  I hope that the media will remember that in this latest saga of a 'love child'.  Even though this person's father is a famous man, the human being that was created because of the poor decisions of Schwarzenegger and another adult woman deserves basic human dignity.  He/She will be dealing with enough as they grow into an adult, just knowing the story of how they came to be without being harassed or made into a spectacle to satiate the curiosity of  the starstruck.


  1. I didn't know about this, but I feel for this child. It is hard enough just being a kid. However, having your childhood splashed all over the media... egads.

  2. Prior to 1970, children born out of wedlock were considered llegitimate, or bastards. In 1970, the US Supreme Court did away with that designation, for the sake of our innocent children. In the court arguments, the term "love child," which was favored in the '60s social revolution (as exemplified in the 1968 song, Love Child by the Supremes),was used to refer to those children born out of wedlock.

  3. Thanks JJ. I was born in Janurary of 1974. To think I missed being officially illegitimate by just a few years!

  4. I was born in march of 74, also out of wedlock. I think we can use the term love child because to God, we were no mistake. We were planned from the foundation of the earth...our hairs on our head are numbered and we have a purpose. So, while your mom may not have been expecting you...God was.

  5. @Christine- always a good thing to remember. I still don't love the term 'love child', but this is a nicer reason to use it.

  6. Each and every child is a blessing. Sad thing is not all parents realise that. But God does.

    Not sure I like the term either.


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