I ran into a friend that I don't see very often at a Birthday BBQ the other night. She's the one with a child who was born with special needs so she is especially busy and harried these days. Still, she took the time to really talk to me (while I held her sweet baby and took my turn at helping to sooth her near constant crying). I couldn't believe that in the middle of all that is going on with her, she truly gets how I'm feeling these days. She immediately picked up on the fact that my husband and I are in the position that we are attempting to keep our spirits up for a real change in location in the near future while managing to remain grateful and content for what we have right now.
But of course it made sense. Her family is going through something so much bigger. Their daughter will be having the first of many surgeries at the end of this month. This surgery will change things to one degree or another, but there is no guarantee as to what the results will be. They could be in for a lot of relief for their daughter's situation or they could be merely laying the foundation for a more profound result in the future.
While I was amazed that this person- of all people- got what we are going through, I am ever grateful to those who have not tired of my story and can demonstrate some level of understanding. I mean, it is not like we are going through anything all that profound. And yet, it is a big deal to us- this waiting for an opportunity to move and then also wondering what that will be like when we get to that point. It is a chosen in-between.
We live about 6 weeks at a time. With every new interview or even the hint of an opportunity, we get excited and consider the possibilities. As the process moves on, we find that we have a hard time committing to much of anything. We don't know if we'll need to be at an interview somewhere far away or if it will be another year before we actually have any concrete plans. We are resentful that we can't just sell our house and live off savings while getting to become locals and find a job that way. But, we are also oh so happy that we have a home and a good job right here. I have everything 'semi-packed' mostly in Rubbermaid containers and will be having another garage sale with a friend to empty out my guest room of all the things we have decided do not make the cut for being 'move-worthy'. We have made many trips to give things away to charity.
I find that I am more free than ever living in this 'in-between' way, something I never anticipated doing or feeling comfortable with. I appreciate things more. I pay more attention. It is easier for me to see what is really important and to be able to let go of the stuff that doesn't matter much after all. This sort of juxtaposition living makes for an interesting time. It makes you think about what you want out of life in a bigger way. You get to live in the moment.
Have you ever done it?
What was the situation?
What happened to end your in-between time?
How did you feel when it was over?
Did it permanently change the way you look at life?